I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
