I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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