Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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