The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
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