I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
