I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
