Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
