Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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