he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
