Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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