If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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