Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
