Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
