Dual....:-)
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize