I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
jump out the window naked night went bad
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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