I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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