dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
