Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
