Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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