You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
