we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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