Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
