remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
