apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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