i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
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Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize