ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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