she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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