no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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