I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
