I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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