Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont even know how to be here
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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