My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
