It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
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Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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