This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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