1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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