Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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