RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Randomize
