he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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