Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
