I never want to see another naked old woman again.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
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I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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