Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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