I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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