I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
