Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
