Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
