just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
