I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I could fuck to npr.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
