ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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