Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
