fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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