I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize