would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I didn't notice because vodka
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
