you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
